Muscles, Makeup, and the Six Types of People You Meet at the Gym

The gym is a fascinating place. Everyone arrives with their own goals, their own methods — and sometimes their own creative interpretations of how exercise equipment should be used.

Recently I was on the rowing machine doing my thing when, out of the corner of my eye, I spotted a man approaching the rowing machine beside me. Armed with a spray bottle and a mountain of paper towels, he scrubbed the frame until it sparkled. Then he sat down, strapped his feet in, and positioned himself as if preparing for a serious rowing session.

And then he began sliding vigorously back and forth… without ever touching the handles.

I tried very hard not to laugh. What muscle was he training? Perhaps he had invented a new kind of exercise. Only he knew.

Watching him, I realised that in my mind there are six kinds of people at the gym.

The Performers: The wide-armed young men with bulging upper arms who flex in the mirror between every set.

The Selfie Queens: The young women who arrive in tight-fitting gym wear — sometimes wearing as little as possible — angling their phones for the perfect Instagram mirror shot. A quick hair flip, a pose, a photo. Approval secured.

The Attention Seekers: Often slightly older women who arrive wearing full make-up, dangling jewellery, and carefully coordinated branded gym outfits. They want to be seen.

The Inventors: The ones who use equipment in ways nobody has ever imagined before. They fascinate and amuse me.

The Quiet Workers: The people who simply arrive, put on their headphones, and get on with it. I admire them.

But perhaps there is a sixth kind of person at the gym.

For a long time I have felt slightly self-conscious there, quietly convinced that every veteran lifter is analysing my form and judging my efforts.

A friend once tried to reassure me. “Don’t worry,” he said. “Nobody is watching you at the gym. Everyone is focused on their own workout.”

I believed that… until I spoke to him after one of his gym sessions. Within five minutes he had given me a detailed commentary about three different people he had observed during his workout.

So much for nobody watching.

At the end of the day, I think most of us are simply working hard and trying our best to improve. We sweat, we struggle, and we try to look confident.

The truth is that the gym is a room full of people pretending not to look at each other while standing in a room made almost entirely of mirrors.

We tell ourselves, “Everyone is looking at me.”

While secretly hoping, “I hope nobody is looking at me.”

Deep down, most of us are probably doing the same thing in our own way. Everybody has their own reason for being there. Maybe they are trying to feel stronger. Trying to feel younger. Trying to lose weight. Trying to feel confident. Trying to appear attractive.

In the end, we are all just slightly vulnerable humans hoping for the same simple things:

To be accepted.

To be liked.

And to feel like we belong.

So tell me — which of these gym characters do you see most often at your gym? Or are you perhaps the sixth kind of person like me?

I would love to hear your stories in the comments.

— Frannie ☕