At 61, I’m Not Shrinking. I’m Building.

Discipline or Punishment? I’m Still Learning the Difference.

This morning I went to the gym for two hours of cardio and strength training. I’m not new to this. I’ve done it before. And usually, after a few months, things slowly begin to slide. But now at 61, my outlook has changed.

This is no longer about being smaller. It’s about mobility. Strength. Independence. The older I get, the more those things matter.

Before I left, I stood in front of my cupboard deciding what to wear. What would make me look slimmer. Black it was. Old habits linger.

I recently listened to a podcast about motivation versus discipline. Motivation depends on how you feel. Discipline builds habits. If we only did things when we felt like it, most things would never happen. Emotion fades. Justification creeps in. And suddenly we have very good reasons not to try. You can lie to others, but you can’t lie to yourself.

In the past, my discipline was focused on shrinking. If I’m honest, it didn’t matter how I achieved it. If drastically reducing calories worked, that’s what I did. Now I’m trying to direct that same discipline differently.

What I love about the gym is how it makes me feel afterwards.

Yes, I push myself. Yes, I get tired. But that energised feeling when I walk out — that feeling of being capable — is powerful. The stair master is my nemesis. Three times a week I increase the speed by one notch. One more minute each visit. Small changes. No drama. I love the quiet thrill of progress.

But here’s the truth.

I have always been strict with myself. That is how I function. That is how I move ahead.

Sometimes that strictness builds me. Sometimes it feels like punishment. The voice still shows up: You’re not doing enough. You should be further by now. Don’t get lazy. I’m learning to answer it differently. I’m not training to shrink. I’m training to build.

I am getting stronger every day. It won’t happen overnight — but look at me in 12 months’ time.

If you can imagine it, you can do it.

I do love a challenge.

— Frannie ☕