What to Do When You Hate Exercise

I have a great many conversations with friends about exercise, and more often than not, I hear the same objections. “I do not have time.” “I hate exercise.” “I hate getting sweaty.” “I cannot afford an expensive gym.” And then there is the one that always makes me a little sad: “I am too fat. Everybody will be looking at me.”

I understand why people feel this way. Exercise has somehow become associated with gyms, Lycra, complicated equipment, aching muscles, dripping sweat and people who apparently leap out of bed at five o’clock in the morning, desperate to go for a run. If none of that appeals to you, it is easy to decide that exercise simply is not for you. But perhaps the problem is not that you hate moving your body. Perhaps you hate the version of exercise you think you are supposed to be doing.

Perhaps You Do Not Hate Movement After All

Recently, I was listening to a video snippet that completely stopped me in my tracks. The speaker said something very direct: exercise is a priority problem, not a time problem. I thought about that for quite a while because “I do not have time” is probably the reason I hear more than any other. The truth is that we are all busy. We have work, family, household responsibilities, appointments, errands and a thousand little things that somehow manage to fill every available space in our days. I completely understand why finding time to exercise can feel impossible, and some people genuinely have very little flexibility in their schedules. But sometimes, it is worth asking ourselves whether we could make even a small amount of time for something that benefits our health.

For me, exercise has become a non-negotiable priority. It is a little like brushing my teeth. I do not wake up in the morning and have a massive internal debate about whether I have time to brush my teeth. I do not sit on the edge of the bed thinking, Well, I have a busy day at the office today, so perhaps I will skip the toothbrushing and start again on Monday. I simply do it because I know it is important for my health. The same has gradually happened with exercise. I make room for it because it matters to me, although that does not mean I think everybody needs to spend hours exercising or rearrange their entire life around a gym schedule. Sometimes, a small change in how we approach something is all it takes to find a little room for it.

But What If You Really Do Hate Exercise?

If you genuinely hate exercise, I am not going to tell you that you need to wake up tomorrow morning and suddenly fall in love with it. Maybe you never will. But I do wonder whether it might be worth asking yourself a slightly different question: is there a type of movement that you dislike less? That might be walking, swimming, gardening, cycling, dancing around the kitchen while making dinner or doing a few simple strength exercises in your living room. Perhaps twenty or thirty minutes sounds unbearable, but ten minutes sounds manageable. Perhaps you hate running but would happily walk while listening to music or a podcast. Movement does not have to involve gym clothes, weights or a formal workout programme to be worthwhile.

You also do not have to finish every exercise session feeling as though you have been hit by a bus to know that you have done something useful. I think this is one of the reasons people give up before they have really started: they set the bar so high that exercise immediately feels like an enormous undertaking. They imagine that unless they are exhausted, dripping with sweat or aching the following day, they have not worked hard enough. But if your choice is between doing the perfect workout and doing a little movement, I would choose the movement every time. The most useful starting point is not necessarily the exercise that burns the most calories or leaves you feeling completely depleted. It is the one you can realistically see yourself doing again. If you struggle to get moving when motivation disappears, I share some practical ways to keep going in When Motivation Disappears — What Then?

“I Hate Sweating”

This one comes up more often than you might think. Some people genuinely hate feeling hot and sweaty, and I am not going to try to convince anyone that dripping with perspiration is some wonderful badge of honour. If the thought of becoming red-faced, overheated and desperate for a shower is enough to put you off exercise altogether, perhaps the answer is not to force yourself through that experience. Perhaps it is to find another way to move. You could walk at a comfortable pace, do gentle strength exercises, work on your balance and mobility, practise standing up and sitting down from a chair, or try some wall exercises at home. You could even break your movement into smaller portions throughout the day rather than trying to do everything in one session.

The point is not to prove how hard you have worked by how exhausted or sweaty you are afterwards. It is to build a level of activity that works for you and that you can maintain. Of course, the amount of effort required will depend on the type of exercise you choose, and some activities will naturally make you sweat more than others. But you do not have to start with the most demanding option available. Finding a comfortable starting point can make it much easier to establish a routine and gradually build your confidence.

“But I Cannot Afford a Gym”

With the cost of living being what it is, I completely understand why an expensive gym membership is simply not an option for everybody. But here is the wonderful thing about exercise: a gym is one place to exercise; it is not the only place to exercise. I happen to enjoy going to the gym, but I currently go twice a week to train with my trainer. On other days, I exercise on my own. I do not need to be inside a gym every time I want to strengthen my body, and neither does anybody else. In fact, some useful exercises require remarkably little equipment.

Your own body provides resistance, while a sturdy chair can become exercise equipment. So can a wall, a staircase or even the kitchen counter. You can practise squats using a chair for support, do push-ups against a wall, work on your balance, repeatedly sit down and stand up from a chair, walk around your neighbourhood or follow a simple home exercise routine. You do not need expensive equipment, designer gym clothes, a personal trainer or a monthly debit order to begin looking after your body. If you have a little space and a safe way to move, you already have somewhere to start. The important thing is to choose activities that suit your current abilities and to progress at a pace that feels manageable rather than attempting exercises that are beyond your capabilities.

“I Am Too Fat. Everybody Will Be Looking at Me.”

This one deserves a little more kindness because it is not really about exercise at all. It is about feeling exposed. If you are carrying extra weight and the thought of walking into a gym fills you with dread because you imagine everybody looking at you, judging your body or noticing that you do not know how to use the equipment, I can understand why staying at home might feel much safer. It can be intimidating to walk into an unfamiliar environment where you believe everyone else knows exactly what they are doing. And when you already feel uncomfortable about your body, the prospect of exercising in front of strangers can seem like one more thing to worry about.

So start somewhere that feels comfortable. There is absolutely no rule saying that the beginning of your exercise journey has to involve walking through the doors of a gym. Start with a walk around the block, put some music on and move around your living room, do a few exercises beside your bed or find a beginner workout you can do privately at home. You could go for a walk at a quieter time of day or ask a friend to join you if having company would make you feel more comfortable. Your first step does not need to be the one that frightens you most.

And if you eventually decide that you would like to try a gym, there is something worth remembering: most people there are far more interested in themselves than they are in you. They are thinking about their own workout, their own body, what exercise they need to do next, whether somebody is using the machine they want or how many repetitions they have left. We sometimes imagine an entire room is watching us when, in reality, everyone else is busy with their own little world. You do not have to lose weight before you are allowed to exercise, and you certainly do not have to look as though you belong in a fitness advertisement before you deserve to walk into a gym. You do not have to become fit before you exercise. Exercise is one of the ways you become fitter.

My Own Relationship With Exercise Has Changed

For a long time, I thought discipline meant pushing myself through exhausting, multi-hour exercise sessions. I thought more was better and that a really good workout was one that left me completely depleted. As I have got older, and especially after navigating my own health journey, including a cancer diagnosis, menopause and osteoporosis, my perspective has changed considerably. I no longer look at exercise as something I do to punish my body for what I have eaten or because I need to make myself smaller. Instead, I look at it as an investment in the woman I want to be ten, twenty and even thirty years from now. I want a body that can carry me up mountains. I want to lift my own groceries, get up from the floor without struggling, maintain strength in my legs and arms, and be able to walk, hike, travel and explore. Most of all, I want to protect my independence for as long as I possibly can.

For me, exercise has become much more about protecting what my body can do than worrying about what it looks like. And something else has happened along the way: I genuinely love it. I look forward to my exercise sessions because I enjoy using my body, getting stronger and knowing that what I am doing today is an investment in my future self. Exercise is no longer something I have to persuade myself to do. It is something I look forward to, although I certainly did not always feel this way. Sometimes, finding the motivation to move begins with understanding why it matters to us. I explored this in Your Why.

That does not mean I expect everybody else to feel the same way, and it certainly does not mean that everyone needs to exercise as I do. My routine works for me. Yours needs to work for you. If you currently cannot imagine ever enjoying exercise, you do not need to aim for loving it tomorrow. Your first goal might simply be to find something that does not feel dreadful. You can start with a short walk or a few simple exercises at home and see how you feel. There is no need to compare your beginning with somebody else's progress or to measure your success against a routine that was never designed for your circumstances.

You Do Not Have to Conquer a Mountain Every Day

One of the most useful lessons I have learnt is that movement does not have to be enormous to matter. Some days might include a proper strength session. Another day might simply involve a walk. There will also be days when life gets in the way, because that is what life does. The goal is not perfection. It is to stop allowing the idea of the perfect workout to become the reason you do nothing. A short walk counts. A few squats beside the kitchen counter can be a start. Taking the stairs or getting up regularly to move rather than sitting all day can also help you build more activity into your routine. You do not have to conquer a mountain every day to be doing something worthwhile for your health. Movement does not have to be exhausting or adventurous to count. In Redefining Movement: Why You Do Not Need to Conquer a Mountain Every Day, I explore why ordinary, everyday movement can be valuable too.

And you do not have to transform your entire life on day one. If you currently do very little exercise, deciding that from tomorrow you are going to train for an hour six days a week is probably not the kindest or most realistic place to begin. Start with something small enough to repeat, then repeat it. That is how a new habit can gradually become a normal part of your day. You build confidence by showing yourself that you can keep going, rather than by setting an ambitious target that becomes impossible to maintain. Small beginnings may not feel particularly impressive, but consistency can take you much further than a burst of enthusiasm followed by exhaustion and a complete loss of motivation.

What If We Changed the Way We Think About Exercise?

Perhaps we need to stop asking ourselves, “How can I make myself exercise?” and start asking, “What kind of movement could I realistically make part of my life?” I think that is a much more useful question because it removes the assumption that there is only one correct way to be active. You do not have to become a runner if you hate running. You do not have to join a gym if you cannot afford one. You do not have to exhaust yourself if you dislike sweating, and you do not have to walk into a crowded fitness centre tomorrow if the thought makes you horribly self-conscious. You can start where you are, with the body you have and the time and resources available to you.

When you begin looking at movement not as punishment, but as one of the ways you protect your ability to live the life you want, something shifts. Exercise becomes less about calories burned, kilograms lost or what you see when you look in the mirror. It becomes about strength, mobility, confidence, independence and giving your future self the best possible chance of continuing to do the things you love. And that, to me, is a much more meaningful reason to begin. We may not all grow to love exercise, but we can learn to appreciate what appropriate movement can help us maintain and achieve.

So, Where Could You Start?

I would simply ask you to find the kind of movement you dislike the least and start there. Make it small, make it realistic and make it something you can actually imagine doing again in a couple of days, rather than something so ambitious that you never want to repeat it. You may discover that ten minutes becomes twenty. You may find that the walk you originally had to persuade yourself to take becomes something you miss when you cannot do it. You may discover that getting stronger feels surprisingly good. And perhaps, somewhere along the way, exercise will stop being something you think you should do and become something you choose to do because you understand what it gives back to you.

That certainly happened to me. I cannot promise that the same thing will happen to everyone, but I do believe that finding a form of movement that suits your life is a far better starting point than convincing yourself that exercise is something you will always hate.

So, I have to know — honestly: what is the biggest thing that stops you from exercising? Is it lack of time, the cost of a gym, hating the feeling of sweating, feeling self-conscious about your body, or simply not enjoying exercise? And if you have found a form of movement that works for you, I would love to hear about it. Let us start a conversation in the comments. Your experience might just give somebody else the idea they needed to get moving.

— Frannie ☕